Last year, when COVID first hit, I bought a bicycle. With all this new spare time and nothing to do, cycling felt safe and a great way to stay active. And I instantly felt like a kid again — it was pretty magical. I remembered when I first started riding a bike in my youth, and suddenly I had the independence of being able to go somewhere on my own. I no longer had to rely on a parent or sibling, but was able to power myself to a new location. And that magic was still there as an adult. I discovered new places in a city where I have lived in my entire life. I saw beautiful things, amazing artwork, new scenery. And if you’re wondering what this has to do with horses, I’ll explain.

After five amazing rides in a row, I was excited to solidify the work we had done before giving my mare, Fire, a day off. But when I got to the barn and tacked up, I noticed there was a little bit of filling in her right front leg, but not enough to alarm me. Then we picked up the trot and I quickly realized that Fire was very lame. Since no one was around for a second opinion, I got off and put her on the lunge line, only to confirm that yes, she was not sound.

A few months ago, things were going well with riding my mare, Fire. I felt we were making progress, and everything wasn’t so very hard. I was able to add in some lateral work, and feeling pretty accomplished. And then a pile of dirt showed up outside the ring - even worse, it was outside the scary door of the ring. My mare does not like change (not sure where she gets that from!) and the appearance of this dirt pile proved to be no exception. It catapulted us into weeks and even months of struggle.

I have been trying to write a blog for over a week. But writing about anything other than COVID-19 right now feels just about impossible. Over the last few months we have all watched this pandemic progress across the world, and now at home in Canada. I am someone who suffers from a pretty high level of anxiety daily, yet initially, when this started to get more serious in our own backyard, I was oddly calm. I joked that I have been preparing for this my entire life. But that is not just a joke - I have. I am what some might call a worst-case-scenario person. Or as my therapist says, I catastrophize situations. Having a word to assign to the behaviour I have endured my entire life is incredibly helpful for me.